Cottage Archaeology

Adventures in rehabbing a 50-something cottage.

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Name: Mike Yuhas
Location: Wisconsin, Land o' Cows, United States

Editor emeritus pro tem

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Knock down that wall

One of my favorite movies is the hysterical "Johnny Dangerously," released in 1984, starring Michael Keaton in the title role. He's a gangster working for the Jocko Dundee gang in early 20th century New York. Dundee's rival is Roman Moronie, a heavily-accented thug given to occasional, memorable, almost incomprehensible invective-laced tirades. For instance, he called his enemies "bastages," "iceholes" and "corksuckers."

Dundee and Moronie each own nightclubs. At one point in the film, Moronie discussed some club renovation plans with one of his henchmen, saying "knock down dat wall, knock down dat wall, and knock down dat farging wall." Johnny, coincidentally, happened to be flying overhead in a small airplane, and dropped a small bomb on Moronie's club -- knocking down all those walls and then some. Moronie's response to all this, amid all the dust and debris, is "now I'm really angry."

That's the only thing I could think of while I knocked down dis, ah, this wall:

Of course, we had pulled down the drywall some time ago, but we figured we could salvage at least part of the wall -- our own renovation plans called for us to remove one part, and carve out a pantry in another section. Looking at the condition of the studs (seven of which weren't long enough and were actually two smaller pieces spliced together), we decided it would just be more prudent to knock down the whole farging thing. So, about five minutes after I took this photo, the bastage was relegated to the history books.

It was a quick demolition, but not quite as efficient as Johnny Dangerously would have handled the job.


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